Follow You Into the Dark
by Chiss Bounty Hunter
Summary: Jedi Satele Shan's whole life revolves around Jedi Code; her bonds to the force will be tested as a shadow from her past returns, leaving her heart yearning to open up to him once more... M!JK/Satele, alternate universe, romance, sexual content
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! This one was a request from the lovely RazorsEdge84. He prompted a very simple story idea about Satele Shan and a Jedi Knight. I was really excited to start writing this one. Satele is the living Jedi Code. To see a more human side of her... I thought that would be fascinating.

I thought a loooong time about how to make something like this into an actual story that could _possibly _fit the SWTOR canon. I tried to do my research to figure out a good period of time in which this event could have taken place. But, the more I write and think, I don't think I could fit it into actual canon and make it make sense. So... this is an alternate universe in which Satele and the player Jedi Knight meet long before Satele becomes a Jedi Master.

Like all my other fics, I wrote the Jedi Knight character ambiguously so you're free to insert your own JK into the story. Tell me if that works for you! I love hearing about people being able to imagine their characters inside my works. :D

Enough rambling... onto the story!

* * *

><p>She stretched slowly, feeling her muscles sigh in satisfaction. The way the sun warmed her skin as she shifted on her soft mattress felt lovely. Her eyes slowly opened, welcoming the bright light... oh, how she longed to just stay in bed and soak up this feeling! However good it might feel, however much she might not want to leave, Satele Shan still had a duty...<p>

Because, you see, Satele was a Jedi Knight now, and would have to train hard to live up to that honor. Every morning was the same routine; wake up early, eat a quick, but filling breakfast, and then do some combat training with meditation inbetween. Every nuance of her life would have to reflect the Jedi Code. Any other person would have found such a life boring and unfulfilling, but not Satele. One day she would have to face dangerous Sith in combat... she wanted to be prepared and this was the only way.

Exiting the mess hall now, she made her way through the cold grass to the grand steps of the Jedi Temple of Tython. It towered tall above her and served as a reminder of how great the Republic was. Satele, ever so humble, never thought she could make it this far. Yet here she was. Greeting her fellow Masters and Padawans, she briskly hopped up the spiral staircase where her training would take place that day.

"Padawans, today is the first day of the rest of your life."

Satele stopped, turning to face the Temple doors where Master Muheeda stood in front of a group of hooded Padawans. 'Ah,' she smiled to herself. Satele reminisced upon her first day of advanced training. What fond memories!

"You four, please follow Master Liv'trai."

About half of them went off in one direction. Those would train to become sages and shadows, and the rest would become either guardians or sentinels.

"You six, follow me."

The group of six turned to face the staircase opposite of Satele's and began their ascent. She looked at each face, wondering what kind of people they were, and-

No.

Her heart stopped.

She threw herself behind a pillar. By Force, she hoped he did not see her. ...was that even him? Could it be? There was simply no way.

It had been eight years since she last saw that face...

They were both Padawans then. Neither of them were very experienced with the Force and hadn't been studying the Jedi Code long. They didn't truly understand what it meant to let go of emotion... how important it was... Allowing herself to fall in love with that man could have been the biggest mistake of Satele's life. How many other Jedi had fallen to the Dark side that way?

No... She shook her head. That would not happen. She would continue to avoid him as long as possible... It would be for the best if he never saw her.

Little did she know it was too late for that. The Knight in Training smiled a little before following his peers into a large chamber room, the door closing behind them.

... ... ...

The next few days were very hard on Satele. She hadn't had this much trouble concentrating in eight years, and she knew the exact cause... Though it was tempting to take out her anger on this practice droid, she had to stay focused. Anger must not fuel her power... Damn it! Why did he have to come back! What happened on Alderaan should have stayed buried deep in her heart... Now it was bursting forth, flooding her whole being like a broken dam. Feelings she should never have in the first place...

She struck out at the training droid with purpose, trying to keep her anger from fueling her. Control. Control... There is no emotion. There is no emotion.

"Satele," a low, rich voice said behind her. She flinched. "Satele, you're going at it all wrong. Its weakness is right there, between the plating. You'll do no good striking it there..." One warm, large hand came over hers as endorphins rushed through her system, freezing her in place. He guided the motion, blade cutting through bits of wiring. "See... more directional. Right there..."

The Knight took her not moving as a sign that she might be receptive to him, so he boldly allowed himself to nuzzle his nose in her shoulder, causing her to finally jump away. Shocked he looked up to see her nod curtly at him, then fidget with her clothing and hair, refusing to look at him.

"Satele... not even one word? It's been eight years since-"

"Yes," she interrupted. "Eight years. Eight nice, long, uncomplicated years."

Her words stung him.

"Why have you never tried to contact me?"

"Why do you _think?_" she bit back, finally looking into his eyes. Emotion splashed across her features, her eyes pointed and full of something he couldn't decipher. "What happened... our love should not have happened, and you know that. There is no passion, there is serenitiy. Our love..."

For a brief moment, sadness furrowed her brows. But she pushed it away.

"Our love cannot happen. I don't want to see you ever again."

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><p>Sounds quite sad, I know... but hold out hope. For Satele may be a Jedi, but she will always be a human first...<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

If the past few days had been difficult, the next two weeks were absolutely unbearable.

Satele knew she should be capable of handling this sort of thing. It just ended up causing her more stress, though, to think about how she shouldn't be thinking about him. But what else could she do?

With a heavy sigh, the Shadow stretched forward from her position on the floor, knees tucked under her. Every inch of her back felt glorious after not being moved in two hours. This meditation session would have to end early, just like the last few...

Furrowed brows and a slight scowl accompanied her all the way to the mess hall. Satele was truly worried. Had her descent to the dark side already begun? Should she talk to a Master about it? Could she even do anything about it at this point?...

Her steel blue eyes pointed straight toward the ground, lest she catch another glance of him by accident. The temple was large, but there had still been plenty of room for them to see one another over the past few days. Every time he would just look at her and smile slightly before she would tear her eyes off of him...

Satele growled. This was not fair. Was the Force playing a nasty trick on her? She felt like a prisoner in her own temple!

'_No, no. There is no emotion...'_

... ... ...

"Right," Master Liv'trai spoke, facing a large group of newly appointed Jedi and the Padawans who had come in earlier that week. "We will be splitting you up in groups of two for today's practice."

Satele's throat clenched as she looked around. There he was.

"Jedi Lagu, you will be with Padawan Reyla." A tall, dark skinned Miraluka nodded before seeking out his Mirialan charge, and they went off to find a suitable area.

"Now. Jedi Krade..." he continued, down the list in his mind, matching each one up based on their individual strengths and weaknesses. Satele grew more nervous as there were only a small group of them left, and _that man _hadn't been picked yet...

"Jedi Satele-"

_pleasedon'tpickhimpleasedon'tpickhim_

But, of course, since the Force had some sort of grudge against her, she found herself walking to a clear area with the one man she did not want to see.

The Knight could see the displeasure etched across her face. It was plain to him like day and night and stung at his heart...

"Satele-"

"Quiet yourself," she spat, her words cutting into him. "Face me."

Suddenly, her double edged vibroblade crackled to life. She hated using this thing. The balance was all off.. He responded by unsheathing two vibroblades, a beautiful green glow shimmering off them like stardust.

Satele leapt first; her blade swung diagonally, meant to put him on the defensive, but he moved much faster than she had counted on. She twisted around quickly. His blade met hers with a loud smacking sound. The Shadow found herself having trouble holding her ground. She had speed on her side, but his power...

She tried as much as she could to surprise him. To knock him off guard. But he swiftly and calmly blocked all her advances on him... This began to frustrate Satele, who snarled at him in a way that was very much unlike the usually calm Consular.

"Why?" she hissed. "Why can't I beat you?"

"Because..." he said, coming forward with a powerful blow that knocked her flat on her back. "I fight with sureness in my heart. With certainty. My emotions are not getting the better of me, Satele, but yours are."

That did it.

She did _not _want to hear that. Not from him, of all people.

Her face hot with anger, she grabbed her vibroblade and stormed off back into the temple, her masters, and the Knight, watching with worry.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi guys!

I'm sorry for the long-ass hiatus. I was so busy with RL stuff (ewww) and had bought Mass Effect 3... I am not ashamed to admit that I cried like a freaking baby toward the end! ;_; I'd love to write some stories for that soon, too, so if you enjoy Mass Effect be on the lookout!

I also have a Tumblr account now. I have a special tag just for written stuff (chissbountyhunter . tumblr . com/tagged/my-writing) (with no spaces) so that you guys won't have to sort through all the other random crap I post. Check it out every once in a while if you want to see some extra drabbles that won't get posted on FF!

As always, let me know what you guys think! I love hearing from you all :D Every alert and review makes my entire week one hundred times better!

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><p>Satele hadn't let herself cry that hard in years.<p>

It was weak of her, but it couldn't be helped. She couldn't handle these emotions. She wouldn't be able to...

That damn Padawan. If he didn't come back, she wouldn't be in this mess. Satele punched into her pillow, hard, her teeth gnashing slightly. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair!

She needed to fight him again. A single rematch. Once she bested him, perhaps, it would be enough. It would prove to herself that she could get control over this situation and hopefully put him and anything having to do with love behind her.

Satele stretched out her tired muscles across her bedsheets. A soft, warm glow eminated from her shoulders, rolling down her arms toward her fingertips. The light danced across her breasts, cascading down her belly and down her legs...

Yes, she would rest now. For tomorrow, everything was on the line.

And she would not let herself lose.

... ... ...

She was so... warm. A soft wind blew by, blades of grass rolling along, softly tickling at her skin. Her eyes slowly opened, taking in a vast blue sky. Where was she?...

Stretching her muscles, she sat up, looking around her. She was in a green, green field with flowers peppered here and there. No life seemed to be close to her. Not that she could sense...

Standing up now, Satele's view was graced with the most beautiful landscape; the rolling hills of Tython, the galaxy's most beautiful planet...

The way the sun shone between the tree limbs to create speckles of light. How the calmly running water created a lovely, soothing sound. The crisp, clean air; so easy to breathe. She took in a deep breath, filling her lungs, trying to remember what she was here for...

Oh, right. Her duel...

He should be here any moment, then. Satele picked herself up, eyes focused on the beautiful sights in front of her, trying to keep herself calm and centered.

"Satele."

She whipped her head around quickly, not expecting him. Satele didn't even hear him coming. Nor feel his energy.

How did he do that...?

"Hello," she said flatly.

"Satele, why must we do this?" he questioned, sadness in his voice. If his hood wasn't covering his eyes, Satele would guess his expression would match.

"On your guard," she spat, twirling her saber into a battle-ready stance. "The sooner I best you, the sooner I can be rid of you."

"_Master_ Satele," he said, somewhat condescendingly. "You know so little..."

"And you know so much more? I did not come here to talk, _Padawan_. Face me."

He hesitated ever so slightly, but complied. There was really no other way to get to her now, was there?

She watched carefully as he pulled out not one, but two vibroblades. Satele tried to hide her surprise. When had he advanced to a Sentinel? ...wouldn't she have heard about that?

Nevermind...

Satele leapt at him gracefully, her dual bladed saber crackling in the air as she flew. He met her with his own blades, a loud 'crack!' ringing in their ears. The Shadow pushed harder, trying to overpower him; a foolish move on her part. The Knight knocked her backwards, causing her balance to falter for a moment. As he ran in to strike once more, Satele noticed he was using a technique too advanced for him... Juyo form. What's going on...?

He was moving inhumanly fast. This shouldn't even-

She struggled now; barely up on her two feet as his two blades pushed hers away. He leaned in quickly, stealing a kiss. Satele's face brightened hotly; the nerve! He simply chuckled and let her force pull her saber back to her.

"I'll get you for that," she growled, regaining her composure as she leapt in for another strike.

It happened this way a few more times. She would attack, he would deflect, and then steal a kiss. It was a very cruel thing for him to do... They would play games like this as young Padawans; sneaking kisses in during duels, or whenever they could, really, so their Masters would not catch them...

She hated to admit how much she really missed this. She _really_ did.

How much longer would she be able to keep her feelings in check?

One last powerful blow from him finally knocked her flat on her back. He moved at inhuman speeds, already on top of her before she knew it with his vibroblade pointed at her throat. The air had gone from a playful one to completely sinister so quickly, she wasn't even sure when it had happened.

Confused, Satele allowed herself to look into his eyes but what met hers shocked her...

His skin, ashen white. Cracked. Gray. Deathly. Eyes a dark red color. He smiled sadly, eyes strangely still full of warmth...

"I love you, Satele..."

... ... ...

She rose up from her bed, panicing, gasping, searching around; where was he? What's going on?

A moment fashed by, and Satele allowed her mind to clear...

She had just been dreaming.

Satele laid herself back down, frustrated and angry. It felt too real. His eyes... his face... she couldn't get it out of her mind.

Grabbing her pillow, she smashed it over her face and groaned as loudly as she would allow herself. Didn't he understand? That's the path that they were going down...

...doesn't he care?


End file.
